Rewind

These butterflies in my stomach

This smile on my face

This eyes that’s only for you

This feeling that I hope can’t be true

Yes, I admit, I was thankful I have met you, but somehow, this undeniable fact of falling in love with you every day makes me regret of knowing you from day one.

Years ago, I promised to myself to avoid having this feeling again, to escape from the tears that will never stop from flowing. . .from the sleepless nights thinking of you. From these bewildered thoughts. But, one thing’s for sure, you can never predict when you will fall for someone. This one-sided love of mine, this brokenness I’m feeling right now, I have to end it, I have to stop these unreachable thoughts being with you.

If only I can bring back that time, that very first word you’ve told me, I should have never turned my head on you.

You should have never let me feel that I was important

You should have never given me the care that I was longing for

You should have never given me that excitement of talking to you every single day

You should have never let me feel that completeness when I’m with you

I should have avoided you.

Yes, I was so careless; can I blame myself for that?

You are so perfect in my eyes

Perfect that I tried to give myself another chance

Chance that I thought will mend this incompleteness inside me

But, I was wrong

I was wrong to the point that I can’t trust my own feelings again

Hiding from the curtain of this terrified heart

Frightened of rejection

If only I knew.

But, for somehow, yes, it was my fault

Another side of me was thinking that it is fine to love you alone

As long as you're happy, that will be more than enough for me

But, as time pass by, this thought of loving myself again keeps on pouring in my head

Can I give myself the happiness that I deserve for?

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I can’t keep my promise to be by your side

I'm sorry if one day I'll just disappear without a word

I’m sorry for leaving you behind without giving you the reason why

I’m sorry for loving you dearly.

If only…If only I can turn back that time.